Energy Frustration

I feel like such an old lady. If I do too much one day, the next day is a rest day. I need to behave myself so that I can have my drains removed tomorrow. The health nurse came by yesterday and checked out the scene. Everything looks good, but she did finger wag me and tell me to settle down. I see her tomorrow morning. I must admit that I am a bit apprehensive with her approach though. She said she would release the vacuum from the drain, tell me to take a deep breath, and yank it out! Yank! Yank? Sheina and I did not go through 15 hours of surgery for someone to YANK my drains out. When I left Vancouver, Sheina was very explicit in her instruction that the drains are to be gently pulled out. I told the nurse this, but she just said that my tissue may be growing around the drain, and they need to be quickly pulled out. Slow could cause pain. PAIN SCHMAIN - follow the doctor's instructions please. I'll have to go over these instructions once more before the big drain removal. I'm sure things will be fine - I'll let you know.

Chemotherapy

Yesterday I was a little too ambitious; I tried to tackle grocery shopping. I can't reach above the "hands up" stance and I shouldn't lift anything over 5 pds. Limiting. However, I met a cute News Group merchandiser in the book/magazine section who offered to help me with the big stuff. He even came to the house and had lunch with me. xoxo

Then I went to my friends. We had a good visit- but I was quickly fading around dinner time. I came home, had a salad, and went to bed. Rhonda did homework and piano practice with Jordyn. Thank God for sisters!!!!

I slept through until early morning. I was to have an appointment with the home care nurse - but I was 15 minutes late and she had already left the office. My foggy brain had me driving to the wrong place before I clued in to go to the Northern Health Unit. I guess there is no room for error with these ladies. Yikes! I am kind of wondering what she would have done with me if I was on time. 15 minutes of what? My dressings take at least 1/2 hr. Hmmmm . . .

Anyhow -I have to forward a great link re: chemotherapy. It is for patients and loved ones. It is presented in a user friendly manner, answers many questions, and provides interesting facts. As you move through the tutorial, your personalized Chemo ready plan is created. It is fantastic! Give it a look: http://www.chemoready.ca/
Thanks love.

Random Thoughts . . .

It is my usual 5:00 am wake up call. My left armpit has been my alarm clock these days. It burns. It feels like I have shaved my underarm hair and nicked all over. Usually the stinging subsides with a nick, but this sensation just lasts and lasts. Lovely. I think maybe I need to use my arms a wee bit less. No, I am not lifting weights, but my arms are used quite a bit in daily activity - sponge bathing, hair washing, hair styling, preparing meals, and caring for Jordyn. If I lay down with my arm propped on a pillow, the burn subsides over time. To touch the area it is hard and lumpy. I do believe it is the drain.

GOOD NEWS! My prof from the University of Lethbridge is the greatest! I emailed him explaining that my chemo would interfere with my Masters completion. I was in tears. He promptly wrote back, told me to stop crying, and assured me that I will finish in July. His wife Nola, also an Ed. prof will work with our cohort on writing our papers and we'll just do mine from afar. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT? I am ecstatic!

I finished watching Reservation Road last night. It is a new release with Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Ruffalo, and Jennifer Connell. Good movie. Out of ten - 8.5 , and I'm a harsh critic. Worth seeing folks. I am liking watching a movie to lull me to sleep. I can sit up and relieve my headache. I find on my sleepy days that I get pressure headaches on the back of my head. I still can't lay on my side or front - so this is my only position. Very annoying. I had these same headaches in the hospital. I was told that when I was in surgery, they put my head in a gel donut to help relieve some pressure. 15 hours of surgery - I don't think anyone moved my head around. Several spots were extremely sore to touch. The only relief I could get was when I was sleeping . . . and then they would wake me up every hour to check the girls. Small doses of relief.

I am hanging with a dear friend today. I am going over to see her new home and to lay out in her most comfortable bed. I am also hoping to meet with Wendy - the home care nurse to get my right drain out. Fingers crossed that this is not painful. I have a 50/50 chance. When they took out my abdominal drains, the left one I could not feel, and the right - OUCH! Did you know that when they pulled out the abdominal drains - the drain inside was about a foot long? It is flat like a garden soaker hose. I am anxious to see length of these breast drains. Yikes!

I need to start checking out some information on chemo. As I start this next venture, I'll be journaling all my findings, resource sites, hair loss, barfy day thoughts etc. You will be such experts when we finish this little journey. :) If you have any questions as we move through this next phase - fire away. You know how candid I am, and so nothing will phase me. Unfortunately, I do believe that this blog site requires a gmail account to post. If you don't want to do that - just email me your questions: lisa097@gmail.com. I'll answer anything.

Monday, Monday . . .

How many of you are singing - "Bah da bah da da da" - after reading the title? heehee -gotcha!

So last night at Ric's Grill was a great little bash. Jordyn was taking the photos. However, when I look at them , I realize there is not one of mom and me or Jordyn and me. Hmmm . . . I do have pictures of Norm and me and my nephew, Mike, and me. Mike is Shelley's youngest. Great kid. Dry sense of humor and fast one lines. He doesn't laugh at his own material which makes it that much funnier.

I just returned home from the airport to get Rhonda. She and fellow cohort members, including TIT Becky (lovah), attended their Masters convocation at Gonzaga University. Sounds like it was a lovely celebration and beautiful campus. I am green with envy as my Masters will not be completed in July as chemo will be ongoing at that point. This makes me very sad, and I am blue today. Oh well, all in due time.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Happy Mother's Day! It is so great to be home to celebrate this day!

Yesterday was a long day. Norm, Jordyn, and I attended the 10:00am start of the Cancer walk. We walked and talked for awhile and soon we started to see lots of people that we know and even some who had only read the blog came over to introduce themselves. Very touching.

I chatted a few laps with Kinnie Mason. He is one of my teaching partners at PGSS. We had more laughs together. He was relaying how the students are doing and . . . well, it is time for me to go and visit. I miss those little farts. Mother Norman needs to make sure that my little chicklettes are okay.

We then picked up Griffin from swimming and headed to the breakfast club. Mom fed the clan and we chatted for a bit. Norm and Griffin headed off to Vanderhoof to visit Norm's mom and help out splitting some wood. Jordyn went with her dad, and I headed to see Linda at the hair salon.

Linda bucked my hair right off. This morning when I told Jordyn that I would be losing my hair with chemo, she was very upset. I told her it would be okay, and that if she wanted I would get a real hair wig so she won't be embarrassed. She just looked at me with big crocodile tears and said, "Mom, you could never embarrass me. I just don't like you being sick." Heart breaker - I think with short hair, the complete hair loss will be less traumatic for her.

On the way home, I picked up a few videos in anticipation of a quiet evening. I was bundled up on the couch and really looking forward to a few movies. Who am I kidding? I was snoring and drooling in no time. I feel good, but I guess I still need afternoon naps.

Baby steps . . .

GELMON VISIT!

So, here is the miracle worker - Dr. Karen Gelmon. She is the top oncologist on the planet!
I met with her yesterday afternoon, after my ultra sound to hear the news regarding chemo or hormone therapy. Result: I will begin my chemotherapy at the end of this month.

Now the ultra sound was an interesting experience. The technician was a focused little Asian man - Bin. Chrissy and I had fun with him. He "probed" me in all areas to get a good look at the growth on my right ovary. Very interesting procedures . . . I had never had an internal probe before. For anyone who has, you can imagine my surprise :)

Then it was upstairs to see Karen. On May 20th I head back to Vancouver for consults with the gynecologists. Yes, another operation is in store to prevent any chance of ovarian cancer - hysterectomy later this summer. Then I see Sheina for some boob talk and then back to Karen for a set up for chemo. My first chemo date has yet to be set, but hopefully it will be during this trip. After that, my chemo will be completed here in PG.

My reaction to this news . . . well, like I said to Karen - I'd rather be safe than sorry. I was disappointed that I will not be able to complete my Masters this July, and that I will lose my hair. The reality - health first! Hair grows back and my Masters will get done, just not on my expected timeline. I have wonderful professors in Lethbridge and I know they will work with me on a realistic timeline to complete this goal. I'll just miss my cohort this summer. We have a great group of genuine people. I'll miss the laughs.

It is so nice to be home! I cried when I finally got to hold Jordyn in my arms last night. I just held her as tight as my body would allow and cried. She is such a great kid! I love her so much and I missed her terribly. Mom, dad, Griffin, and Norm were also there to greet me. It was nice to see everyone. Griffin is officially taller than me. Grrrrrr. Ma and Pa bear drove me home, and mom took my laundry. Did I mention I have the best parents?

Jordyn and I cuddled as much as possible and we snored all night. Happy bears.

I hear my nephew romping around upstairs right now. I need to go and attack him with kisses. He is the cutest little fart in the world. Check out some of my previous posts and I'm sure you'll agree.

I am going to attack him, have a bite to eat, get ready, and head down with Jordyn to pick up Norm for the cancer walk. We are going to pace off a few laps and then head to the breakfast club. For those of you who do not know, the breakfast club is held every Saturday at mom and dad's. My siblings and their families all go home and have one of mom's gourmet breakfasts together. It is a great time to catch up and hang for a relaxing morning. familia

"It you don't have family -you don't have anything." hsn

DR. DAVIS VISIT

This is Dr. Noelle Davis and me. She is the surgeon who performed my double mastectomy and removed several nodes. It was fantastic to put a face to the knife. She is a bright, confident woman and, like all the other professionals I have encountered here, she took the time to answer all of my questions and made me feel positive for recovery.

Extra note . . . Noelle's husband and Dr. J. Appleby (surgeon in PG who did my intitial surgery) are good friends. Small world!

Today I have an ultra sound at 1:00 and a meeting with Karen at 2:00pm. This will be the meeting where chemo will be ruled in or out. Then I pack up and come home. :)